The Species

As a political science student, I find that with each passing day, my view of humanity becomes more and more diminished. I know what you're thinking: "here's another conspiracy theorist Hobbesian malcontent fuck". This isn't true however.

While it is true that Hobbes and I share the same idea that humanity is destined to completely
destroy itself, I do not believe that it is completely hopeless...

so long as humanity learns to grow up. Everywhere I look, all anyone is concerned with is their own self-gratification with a blatant disregard for the opinions or welfare of those around them. If another person serves no purpose to the satisfaction of one of the tiers on Malsow's hierarchy of needs (i.e a friend, a parent, a love interest, a police officer etc) they just don't care. This is especially true in the areas of social justice and the consumerism on which our frail society so avidly clings to for dear life.

It seems that all people want to do is gather as many material possesions as possible and fuck one another. Anything that deviates from these two "all imortant" principles is quickly dismissed as being unimportant, invaluable, and purely unattainable ideology. Tell me HOW does this count as progress? I find that the academics that we so pride oursleves on as a species are a rare breed: they are capable of independant thought and critical analysis.

I mean, who would have thought that actually investigating the negative effects that one's behaviour has on others and their environment would actually lead to advancement?

Just Stress

Hey, I'm really sorry for the scarcity of blogs posts recently, I've just been really bogged down with essays and midtem exams to study for...so please accept my apology.

Anyway, with all this hectic activity and overall craziness in my life right now, it got me thinking about the nature of stress.
I mean, it's always so terrible to strain your body and mind in such a way, and yet, despite this, one still comes up with answers and solutions astonishingly quickly...

odd.

Just another member of Gen Y.

As I write this in the early minutes of October 26th, 2010, I'm inclined to think about all the organization (or lack of it) that everbody seems to have in their lives.

I mean, it seems that everybody has an e-calendar or smartphone to help them micromanage every single aspect of their lives to the point where we tell the entire world what we ate for breakfast via facebook or twitter.

Has humanity de-humanized itself, or am I just abit too cynical?

While it may be true that my condition does incline me toward the latter, I still believe that humanity is losing touch with the very aspects that used to define us as a species.

For one, whatever happened to the ideal of comraderie and community building? It seems that nowadays people only want to discover new ways that distinguish themselves from everyone else, be it through symbols of status or "expressions of uniqueness" that have been done a million times before. I'm sorry, but dying your hair and wearing clothes that are right out of 1974 has been done before by literally millions of people. You're nothing special.

It seems that the general rule of thumb is : the smarter the phone, the dumber the person. Since when did GPS become the selling feature of a vehicle?

Hows the milage?
"I don't know, but it has a fucking plasmascreen TV in it, so who gives a fuck?!"

c'mon people, we are capable of so much more than you think.

Just because we see an unpleasant story on the news doesn't mean we should shy away from doing something about it. Why is it that we only hear about the number of "friendly" soldiers who die in the middle east, and not the number of innocent bystanders killed as a result of our presence there? Because it's unpleasant. Generation Y just doesn't like unpleasant.

It's contradictory to their idealistic, prepackaged, iDreams provided to them by the company with the most vibrant ads.

This being said; I am a member of the generation I am ranting about. I guess I'm just sad that we, the generation with the most potential will probably sit idly by as the world destroys itself. And we'll be able to capture every second of that destruction on our shiny, HD televisions and laptop computers.

It's That Time Again.

Hello friends, I'm sorry that I haven't posted for four days...

I'm just busy in real life right now.

That plus, due to the fact that I know hardly anyone reads this, I figured it was no great loss.

You Don't Say...

I took this day off. I figured if my sanity is like an engine, it was beginning to overheat and was on the verge of (another) blowout.
anyway, to my real point...

Somedays I just feel trapped, you know? Like there's a gigantic cage and you're the only one with the key, except you've gotten so used to this fucking cage that you've become complacent.

Sometimes I feel that if I just had the chance to tell certain people what I thought, or how I felt about them , it would take a giant load off my mind. But alas, I just can't do that...

...life demands that I play it's game...

There's these rules that everyone seemingly has to obey...because it's good form or something...you can't just say what you think.

fuck it, here goes:

1) I wish we could get along better, but you and I both know that won't happen.
2) I appreciate all that you've done for me over the years, even if I haven't always shown it.
3) I don't hate you for what you did, I just wish you would've told me to my face.
4) We're drifting apart...it has to happen, don't fight it.
5) Please don't give up on me, I'm new at this. I don't know if you've figured this out, but I'm not a chauvinistic dick... I like you for you. Seeing your smile and hearing your voice makes me happier than you can imagine.
6) I enjoyed playing with you, but I had to leave because our goals became too different. I hope you understand.

There.

I feel better now.

Constants

I had a thought today:

In all the chaos that is this life, there is always one thing that remains the same; a constant if you will. It is always there in one form of another, it can be a person, it can be tangible, it can be untangible, anything really...

My constant is sorrow.

Never Ending

Those of us who suffer from Major Depressive Disorder don't have any discrimination laid against us because we have an invisible disease. We never tell anyone about our situation because "Normal" people just won't understand that in fact, smiling doesn't always cure everything, that to us, the sun may not come out tomorrow, because there's always that possibility that you'll lose control, that it'll get the better of you and force you to end your life simply on the basis that it becomes the most viable option of irradicating this illness once and for all.

The very fact that get out of bed every morning is a victory. Some of us won't tomorrow.

That being said, just because I have depression doesn't mean I'll commit suicide. It just means that I'm not afraid of it. I do not fear my own death, after all it is the inevitable destination for every living thing on our planet.

Like I said, it doesn't seem that I have any discrimination laid against me...because already hate myself too much to care what you think about me or notice what you say against me.

Another Autumn Day

Today, I saw the street filled with hundreds of colourful leaves.

It made me think about how a tree seemingly dies every fall and is re-born every spring. Somehow, the process of death and rejuvination is made absolutely beautiful.

Not everything about death is ugly.

Systematic Rhapsody.

The Greatest achievement a man can accomplish is his ability to provide for himself the creature comforts made readily available to him through a meritocratic process of consumerism and thankless work. This way he will achieve a sense of Rhapsody.

At least, that's what society seems to be telling me.

At the risk of sounding like a misinformed proponent of Marxist political thought, I just want to say that I don't find the notion of liberal capitalism evil.

I just find it immature.

I feel that it's synonymous to the smal child who will whine incessantly when he sees a new toy, and then discards it after the first two days of ownership. The premis of our liberal consumeristic culture is in essence amplifying our animalistic tendencies of self-gratification, greed and overall laziness.

I mean, why work when somebody else can do it?
Why share? That means less for Me and more for Them.

I see that the Jones' have a new car, so I must have a better car.

Why am I ranting about the "ills" of society you ask?
Well, to be frank, I'm not. I just thought I'd share with you a small portion of my view of things. As you can gather. I just don't fucking care about what car I drive or what electronic gadgetry I own or who's name is sewn into the back of my shirts. When you live with Major Depression these things that everyone tells you are pinnacles of your existance just don't seem so important.

I just thought it would be a good starting point, a fixture that anyone reading this can understand (they may not agree with my opinion, but they can at least understand what I'm trying to convey).

I created this blog for two reasons:
1) I've never had a blog before, and thought "fuck it"
2) I want to provide anyone reading this with an idea of what a depressed perspective on life is like in hopes of allieving the stigma that we're all "A bunch of suicidal crazies who didn't get enough hugs as children"

I'm not afraid to tell people that I have this ailment...why should I be?
No-one cares anyway.

And so my rhapsody can't be bought or sold.
It has to be built every second of every day.

my own systematic rhapsody.